A year ago today was my due date.
My mum was here in Hong Kong waiting for baby Maddy to come.
I just went back and read some of my old posts to remember those days of waiting... going a week overdue, being induced, hoping for Maddy to be healthy and that we wouldn't have any unpleasant surprises when she was born.
We had prepared ourselves for her to be different. I knew that she would be spending at least a day or two in the NICU and that I may be leaving the hospital before her. I had no idea whatsoever that she may be there for four months though!
In this whole journey, for me, the pregnancy was probably the most difficult time. Not knowing how Maddy would be, not knowing exactly what condition she had, in the earlier days, not even knowing if she would make it home. For me, the pregnancy was even harder than NICU. Well, it was different. NICU was incredibly frustrating, but at least Maddy was incredibly healthy. The healthiest baby there, I think. Apart from that first week, I never worried about whether we would bring her home. I only wondered how long it would take!!
I had forgotten how sick we were this time last year. This time last year, Bernard had shingles. In Maddy's first couple of months, he also had hand foot and mouth disease.
There's still a week til Maddy's first birthday. We're not doing anything big to celebrate - we're just taking the girls to Disneyland. It's probably more for Lana than for Maddy - but it will be nice to spend the day together. We'll make sure that there is cake and candles somewhere in there. And I'm sure that I'll be doing a whole lot of remembering...
I loved your post about not praying to be healed! I so agree! I thought you put it well. I think we live in a society that looks so much on the outside and sometimes forgets the true worth of the soul. I don't think the body we come here with matters as much as some people think. All of us have some sort of imperfection or weakness, weather physical, mental or spiritual dwarfism is just one that is more visable ;) I don't think it's whats handed to you in life that matters as much as what you do with it!
ReplyDeleteChristine - I just started reading your blog and I love it!! Wish I'd found it sooner :) And thanks for your sweet comment, I agree 100% :)
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